As part of the largest study ever undertaken on human sexuality, in 1948 Alfred Kinsey found that nothing had more influence upon present-day patterns of sexual behaviour than the religious backgrounds of that culture.
Although the source of this original sexual wounding is religious it has so taken hold in our culture (western world) that it affects all of us.
One of the results of living in a sex negative culture is that as children we learn that exploring our bodies, and masturbation is immoral and unhealthy.
Shame and guilt is passed down from generation to generation.
Kinsey in his study called the stigmatising of masturbators a form of sexual abuse.
Because of the guilt and shame ridden through this part of our being, the psyche gets wise and one way to avoid sexual feelings ( and many other feelings for that matter) is TO LIVE OUTSIDE OF THE BODY
By adopting a way of being where we are in disconnection from our bodies we actually limit all sorts of feelings not just sexual pleasure, excitement and bliss. We learn to shallow breathe to avoid accessing states of feeling. This shallow breath creates a forever present feeling of unease, if we tune in and feel. It is only by using a fuller breath, breathing down into the belly, that we can access the parasympathetic ( rest and digest) part of our nervous system which is the nervous system that regulates our body and creates relaxation, and when we relax we can access more peripheral nerves and feel more of our body.
With regards to our sexuality, another outcome that has resulted from this disconnection to feeling, and ultimately pleasure is what Almaas defines as the “Genital Hole”
Kind of like a psychic self castration Almaas describes the experience of the “genital hole” as-
“”(The Genital Hole) is the experience of the genital area as a dark, empty hole, with no anatomical parts. The individual feels and sometimes envisions a lack, an absence between the thighs. The experience can be very definite and clear, with the boundaries of the hole clearly demarcated. It almost feels like a physical experience, even though the individual is always aware that the hole is not physical.”
This energetic and psychic block creates a constriction of feeling and of pleasure.
Sometimes, the Genital Hole is first experienced as chronic pelvic pain. Untreated, chronic pain can then lead to physical numbness. Chronic pelvic pain and numbness are pandemic in our time.
Here is one description of how chronic pelvic pain evolves, from the excellent book A Headache In The Pelvis by David Wise, Ph.D. and Rodney Anderson, M.D.:
“We have identified a group of chronic pelvic pain syndromes that are caused by the overuse of the human instinct to protect the genitals, rectum and contents of the pelvis from injury or pain by contracting the pelvic muscles. This tendency becomes exaggerated in predisposed individuals and over time results in pelvic pain and dysfunction. The state of chronic constriction creates pain-referring trigger points, reduced blood flow, and an inhospitable environment for the nerves, blood vessels and structures throughout the pelvic basin. This results is a cycle of pain, anxiety and tension which has previously been unrecognized and untreated.”
We can heal the genital hole through working with clearing our guilt and shame around ourselves as sexual beings.
One of the most popular ways I work with clients is to help them design their own orgasmic yoga practice.
Orgasmic yoga – is an umbrella term for an erotic practice which infuses mindful masturbation – focussing on sensation and feelings in the body, and being present with oneself rather than fantasy or something outside of oneself, with:
exploring how breath, sound and movement move energy through the body and enhance embodiment, and clear our system of negative/stuck energy
We can set an intention, healing, focus, spiritual connection to name a few.
We can also combine Orgasmic Yoga with:
i have found this the most powerful way to work with clients, supporting them to develop their own unification with their sexuality.
An orgasm is the closest thing we have in this dimension to the Divine.
A human being can be created through the act of sex!
A life comes in through the process of sex!…. think about this….
How on earth can this act be shameful and anything less than holy?
The distortion of the life-force of sexuality and the shame that has been placed upon it has resulted in a mis-representation of this most potent and sacred part of ourselves in our culture.
Porn and much of the sex industry has nothing to do with embodied sexuality, and is mostly in fact an exploitation of this most potent and sacred force of energy, which is our link to the DIVINE, to source, to creator, to that which we come from and to whom we will return.
If you would like to make steps to heal your sexuality, to re-claim it as Divine, to find more pleasure ease and bliss in sex AND in life, to inhabit your whole body, give yourself permission to feel fully and experience feeling grounded-ness in your entire being that happens when you do this then drop me a line and tell me a bit about yourself what you’re stuck with and what you wish for yourself. I’d love to hear from you.