Updated: May 12
it’s a wierd thing is time.
Would you agree?
Since 2020 I’ve felt as though I entered a different time space reality.
It’s like everything slowed down and sped up all at once.
Orienting to present time , maybe slowing down enough to feel, listen and notice is a way to make enough space to work with embodied threat responses - to witness them and then in their own timing transform and unwind. It cannot be forced or pressured there is a ‘Kairos’ timing to it.
There has to be the right conditions for this to happen, enough support, enough care and compassion. Much like a plant needs the right conditions to grow and thrive.
WE ARE THE SAME.
So back to time.
Did you know the Greeks had 2 words for TIME .
Chronos: meaning time you can measure - by the calendar,
by the ticking of a clock,
the phases of the moon.
Chronos is linear and sequential- quantitive- - we see it in words like chronological,
Kairos: which is timeless in a way , it’s in the moment - it’s qualitative
- its about the most opportune moment, and right timing.
Nature knows Kairos time,
my dog knows Kairos time.
I had this experience whilst walking my dog the other morning . I felt like sitting down on this bench looking out over the water.
So I sat.
I could see a stream of traffic way over the other side of the water.
In front of me I could see the stillness of the water, the sun reflecting on the low tide of the estuary. I could see and hear the birds coming and going, I could feel this pace. I noticed my body relax. The trees and plants even seemed to omit a speed I could attune, maybe even experienced a moment of timelessness.
It was such a contrast to see the steady stream of trucks and cars and the constant speed I could see and feel there.
The water …….the birds….. nature going at a totally different pace.
I sat for a while focussing on the nature (Kairos time)
On purpose switched my focus back to the traffic (Chronos time) well, I’m making an assumption here, obviously, but the cars and were trucks going quite fast - it didn’t look as though the traffic was pootling along at a Sunday driver kind of pace.
Then I sat with BOTH in my awareness.
Can I pay attention to Chronos time - for the sake of my business, meetings with friends, shop opening times, etc etc but not lose touch with Kairos time and the most opportune moment for things?
For many of us tuning in to something that feels slow can feel threatening, especially if we have been stuck in an up-regulated (fast) speed for a long time , it can feel irritating, excruciating even.
What we can do here is to notice the irritation AND the slowness.
The frustration AND the slowness of my breath.
The intense fidgeting AND something that feels still.
The busy traffic AND the pace of nature.
Perhaps even putting your attention more on one for a moment and feeling from the body what wants to happen?
Can I allow myself to feel the FASTNESS within the SLOW
if i lean more into fastness how does my body feel - respond?
if I let my body be in charge in this moment what does it want to do that feels doable ?
If I, on purpose, lean more into slowness even though fastness is there , the fastness might want to keep pulling me back there but can I use a bit of will power to stay with the slower pace I can feel?
This is how we can heal from being stuck in an up regulated speed over time…. In Kairos time - it will unwind in right timing when the conditions are right, when we’ve paid enough attention to what’s needed, gotten the support, given ourselves what we need, adjusted what is causing the stress in small doable steps that don’t put further stress on our system.
I’ll leave you with another thought to crunch and chew on.
Ever felt like time is going too fast?
Time seems to follow a universal, ticktock rhythm. But it doesn't.
Well according to Einstein’s special theory of relativity , he determined TIME is relative in other words, the rate at which time passes depends on your frame of reference.
Maybe more Kairos time is good for us all!
And lastly :
if your partnership is in need of some Kairos time join me and an amazing group of couples, slowing time down, extending the breath, slipping into more qualitive moments ☀️