I started my exploration into conscious sexuality many years ago, stumbling through tantra books. I instinctively knew that sex was meant to be more spiritual and although I didn’t know quite what I was looking for, I knew there had to be more to sex than what I was experiencing. I was ready to connect to something deeper and more fulfilling.
Once the lust had worn off in my relationships I was often left feeling flat, my desire and libido waning. I thought there was something wrong with me, until I came to understand that the style of sex I had been handed to me by my culture, only taught me a limited and linear way of being sexual. It focused solely on stimulation and excitement, and taught me nothing about the pleasure that can be found through deep relaxation. Back then I knew nothing of the energy and pleasure in stillness, listening to the body and allowing the sexual energy to move me. My body and my feminine energy were frozen and constricted. Because I was so disconnected I was constantly overriding my nervous system and emotional body to ‘perform’ sex. Which sometimes resulted in pleasure, but over time left me feeling shut down and disconnected.
I didn’t even realise how unrelaxed I was.
The process of unwinding, learning tools to relax soften and open were slow. I didn’t find many guides that I deeply resonated with, many of the workshops and trainings I took for ‘growth’ were still coming from a goal orientated approach. What my body and trauma needed was a soft, safe place to be able to relax into and heal.
So I went in search of the truth. I took a journey of embodiment, and began to listen to the deep wisdom held in my body.
It wasn't until I took a more somatic approach and began working consciously with my sexuality that things really started to shift. I discovered and released experiences that were stored as trauma in my body and nervous system. I started to unhook myself from unhealthy patterns that were keeping me stuck in my life. I began to really listen to the wisdom held within my body. I realised my body held the tools I needed to learn to thrive in life rather than just survive.
My somatic journey literally accelerated my growth tenfold. I was so inspired by my journey I decided to train how to support others.
I began teaching in 2011 and since then I have supported 1000’s of people move from disempowerment to greater freedom within the arena of sexuality and relationship. I have guided and coached individuals, couples and groups with tools and skills to support them to create more of what they want in their lives and bring awareness to and change the behaviours, beliefs, habitual ways of relating that keep them stuck in unhealthy patterns.
Yin Sexuality has been born from 25+ years of exploration, research and discovery around what supports greater ease, freedom and pleasure in relating and sex. Working for many years with many different modalities and methods this is my distilled version of what I feel really helps modern day women, and their partners find beautiful, deep sensual pleasure and lasting connection and intimacy.
Ellie Wilde is a Somatic Sexologist, Relationship and Intimacy Guide with over 20 years experience working, consciously living and exploring the Feminine Mysteries, Heart and Womb Wisdom, Yin Sexuality, Relationship, Intimacy and the Power of Human Connection.
She lives in Tauranga New Zealand with her son, partner and friends. She brings down to earth science and mixes it with emotional intelligence and embodied wisdom to create spaces for people to open and shine. She is known internationally for her unique approach which is both vulnerable and deeply powerful, her natural authenticity supports others in relaxing more deeply into their own unique essence and expression, enabling the more human sides to emerge, feel seen accepted and therefore healed. Ellie is also founder of The Embodied Love Community an organisation offering workshops, community experiences and education in the realm of Relating, Intimacy and Connection. For more information visit www.embodiedlovecommunity.com